Mum-baby separation: how to cope with the first day at nursery

Advice

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Practical tips and effective strategies to make this moment less challenging and more comforting for both

The first separation between mum and baby is one of the most delicate and complex moments for every parent. The start of nursery marks a fundamental stage in your child’s growth and represents an important emotional change for mum. 

First, it’s important to remember that this separation represents an essential step in your child’s development; indeed, nursery offers your little one the chance to socialize with other children, learn to interact with others and develop his cognitive and motor skills in a safe and stimulating environment. 

Dealing with the separation doesn’t mean breaking the bond between you but transforming it. Suitable preparation can help both mum and baby to live through this experience more serenely. Here are some useful tips to make this step less stressful:

  • start gradually: if possible, it can be helpful to start leaving baby at nursery for just a few hours a day and then slowly increase the length of his stay. This helps your newborn to become familiar with the new environment and the new caregivers.
  • set up a reassuring routine: children benefit from routine. Establishing daily habits that include the nursery can reassure your little one, making him feel safe and protected. For example, giving him a kiss before going into nursery or a comfort item that he can take with him can make a difference.
  • keep calm: newborns are very aware of their mum’s emotional state. If mum is calm and serene, baby will feel safer. Before the time of separation, it’s a good idea to take a few minutes to relax so that you can face the moment with a positive attitude.

So, it’s not only baby who has to adapt to the change, but also mum. The separation may lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety and sadness and it’s essential to recognise and accept these emotions without judging yourself. The fact that baby is going to nursery doesn’t mean that the bond between you will weaken; on the contrary, often the time spent together outside nursery becomes more intense and precious.

Comparing your thoughts with other mums who are going through the same experience may help you to feel less lonely and to discover that certain emotions are absolutely normal.

The advice is to dedicate this time when your baby is at nursery to yourself, whether it is for work, a hobby or simply to relax. This will help you to recharge your batteries and deal with everyday life with more serenity.

This phase is an opportunity for both of you to grow: your baby will discover new realities and become more autonomous, while you, mum, will have a chance to rediscover yourself and strengthen the bond with your little one.

 

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